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Many women spend much time and money having their fingernails painted and decorated. Toenails, too, quite often. Is there evidence that young men find this attractive?

Regular readers will know, I hope, how much this column appreciates correspondence. It’s you, the little people, who make this all worthwhile, I say, tearfully clutching my Oscar. So, believe me when I say that it does cause me pain to criticise the questions I receive, but, as celebrities are so fond of saying these days, I must live my truth. No one ever said being a journalist was easy. So, David, if I seem harsh in my reply, do not take it personally. You are merely the Watergate to my Woodward and Bernstein, and I must expose what’s really going on here.

If nail salons have to exploit workers to stay profitable, they've lost my business

The slightly awkward thing, though, is that I’ve dealt with this particular issue – why women do a thing even if men don’t find it attractive – in this column many times before. And yet, strangely, it seems that not every single man on the planet has received my truth. Why, only last week, a chap on a different, far inferior newspaper wrote, in regards to fashion’s fondness for skinny models: “They are not attractive to men or, surely, to women. Why then does this continue?” It’s hard not to enjoy that what this male columnist seems to find most outrageous about extremely thin models is that they don’t turn him on. Fingers crossed this becomes a running series in which we find what shape of women really does get his engine going! (Ideally silent ones, presumably, given that he apparently couldn’t be bothered to ask a single woman for her view on the subject, but was instead reliably guided by his own hormones.) So, as you can see, I have to keep repeating this truth over and over.