Arm-knitting tutorial is the practice of using one's forearms instead of knitting needles, using huge yarn.Posts that Real Knitters Shall Not Acknowledge (PoRKSNAck's) is any piece of online content that is somehow related to knitting or yarn and for whatever reason, interests and excites non-knitters. And those non-knitters are IMMEDIATELY COMPELLED to share the post with you, the one knitter they know. And then the thing goes viral, so multiply that one non-knitter's share by all the people in the world that know you, and you get the same dang post with earnest intros from all these people because I DISCOVERED SOMETHING YOU WILL LOVE !!! CUZ LOOK !!! KNITTING !!! And you roll your eyes and ignore it, and someone in a finance meeting the next day says to you, "Hey Lisa, did you see that video of a knitted gnome knitting hearts? Omg, I thought of you right away! "And you crinkle your nose and shake your head and wonder why your feminist Estonian lace knitting blog in 2006 never took off like these silly posts
Arm knitting tutorial is like hula-dancing at Burning Man. Imagine what that looks like, then add giant yarn to the limbs of the woman you’re imagining. Now imagine her getting tangled and starting and stopping erratically, and someone’s eating curry and there’s the distant sound of a didgeridoo, and you can imagine what I look like arm-knitting (and where I live, for that matter). You should totally join me in this awkward dance. Liberate your ego.
Now this is truly liberating—DON’T THINK ABOUT FUNCTIONALITY. Think about expression; about experimentation; about making a yarn portrait of your ex-husband. Sink into your own imagination and get all kinds of tangled and messy and maybe you’ll end up with a gallery opening and a studio in Williamsburg and you’ll forget you ever even hung out with real knitters.